The Personal Journal of POTUS

February 16, 2009

My Blackberry

Filed under: Presidential Security,Technology — fakepotus @ 3:27 am
Tags: , , ,

A lot has been made of my wonderful Blackberry.  The media has made hay out of the fact that I am a modern man, and I can’t live without my blackberry.  Well.  The funny thing is this was never even a choice or a consideration.  When I visited the White House the first time, I was telling George about how tough it’s going to be to try to keep my Blackberry.

Bush laughed, and he showed me his personal cell phone.  He told me it was the president’s phone, it had mobile internet like 10 generations ahead of the iPhone, the best email, he could watch movies, voice based text message, and heck, even order a nuclear strike from it.  I was taken right then and there, and Bush told me that I’ll get one as soon as I’m on the job.   There is like only a few of these around, exclusively for presidents and vice presidents.   He let me play with his for a few minutes, I was in love.  I typed in a couple of commands and sent a predator into Pakistan and told it to fire a missile.  It was like just the best thing mobile ever made.

My only regret out of this whole thing is that Joe gets one of these too, but oh well, you take the good with the bad.  But since the media kept pointing to this, I got together with a couple of guys at the NSA, and we came up with this little gag.  I got one of these so called secured blackberry from Research In Motion, and then gave it right to the boys at Ft. Meade.   So now we got a rope a dope going with all these hackers coming after my “blackberry.”

I say to all the would be hackers, bring it on.  Have fun trying to purge your PCs or whatever of the viruses you’re gonna get when you hack into “my blackberry” sitting in Ft. Meade.  Meanwhile, I’ll be having fun with my personal presidential smartphone, laughing all the way to the bank.  Heh heh, do you idiots think I would buy Canadian when I can buy Apple?

Oops, went a bit far with that one.  The product didn’t come from Apple, nope, other coast.


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