The Personal Journal of POTUS

February 11, 2009

The Spanker

Filed under: Domestic Policy,Economy,The Cabinet — fakepotus @ 5:58 am

You know, when a new administration comes in the Secret Service has a field day providing new code names to everyone.  I mean take Hillary for example, she is called 4th in line, and Joe is Big Mouth, I suggested for myself a name of upset kid, but the Secret Service guys declined it, since they said its their job to provide code names.  I asked and made them give me one exception though.  I got them to give Rahm Emmanuel the code name, The Spanker.

Now you people might wonder what kind of a code name that is.  Well, baby face (AKA Tim Geitner) found out today.  After that pathetic performance he gave today with his plan.  I felt it was only fair.  I was so disappointed with Geitner, he asked me for a clear field on Friday so that he could have the undivided attention of the country to unveil a plan that was better than what Hank Paulson provided.  Boy, did he disappoint.  After his rambling press conference, he managed to tank the stock market.

I didn’t believe it when Bush told me to becareful about the economy and to make the major announcements myself.  Since he said only the chief executive could restore confidence, don’t trust the underlings like he did with Paulson.  I didn’t listen, and did I pay for it today.  Could baby face have come up with a more vague plan… I’m talking transparency and he couldn’t even provide simple details on what he has in mind.  It’s so bad, not only did he tank the Dow, he is taking down Asia too.

So that’s where Rahm came in, after the day got done, I pulled The Spanker and Babyface into the same room, and I told Tim that he earned every bit of what he is getting.  Then I had him strip down, and told Rahm to get to work with the paddles.  After about the twentith stroke, baby face was in tears swearing he’ll do better.  I told him he’d better given all the trouble I got put through with his tax evading ass, or next time, he is not gonna be able to sit for a week.  So, if you guys see Tim walking a little funny tomorrow, that’s a reminder to all of you.  I’m giving all of you bozos the room the run with the ball, but if you screw up, The Spanker will be waiting.

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