The Personal Journal of POTUS

December 15, 2008

Kinder, Gentler, that’s what history will say about me

Everybody hates me, I get it.  I mean take this journalist in Iraq, he tosses his shoes at me, he hates me, but really, why do you hate me?  Do you hate me because Iraq is free from the dictatorship of Saddam?  You know, you’re lucky pal, you’re only going to end up in Gitmo.   If I were Saddam, you’d be hanging by your ears now, with your balls shoved down your throat.  But with me, I’m kinder, gentler, you’ll only have to be in Gitmo where you’re provided with three hot meals a day, a prayer rug, directions to Mecca, and what else, oh yeah, 24 hour heavy metal.  See, what a difference that is.

So you want to blame me because I liberated your country from dictatorship.  Or is it that you hate me because I didn’t do the same in Egypt.  Well, whatever, history will be kinder compared to insignificant fleas like you.  You think Gitmo is not nice, well, buddy, don’t worry, you won’t be in Gitmo for too long, once I’m done, Barack will shut Gitmo down.  It’ll look good in the papers, but you my friend will be truly screwed, because nobody will talk about what happens to you terrorist types after the books are closed.  My mistake with Gitmo and other places like it is that I was too gentle, too open, I should’ve known better, the American people doesn’t care if the CIA cuts off someone’s balls and shoves it down their throats.  They care about government doing its job effectively, and making sure our people are safe.  See, I went for this kinder, gentler approach, and all it got me is the hassles of being in the spotlight of idiot reporters.

Barack, though is no dummy, he will have seen my mistake.  So, there will be nothing public like Gitmo, instead, he’ll farm all the unpleasent stuff out to the Egyptians, the Israelis, our buddies in Saudi Arabia and so forth.  So, my friend, I hope that you are happy knowing that you have just managed to annoy someone like me at the worst possible time.  You might have just had a few years of Gitmo and then be let go, now, you’re going to Gitmo still, and then you’ll disappear.  Kinder, and Gentler, don’t you wish you hadn’t thrown those size 10s?

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