The Personal Journal of POTUS

November 20, 2008

The three stooges and friends

Filed under: Economy,Politics,Satire — fakepotus @ 2:06 am
Tags: , ,

Another interesting day in Washington with the three stooges of the auto industry.  But it seems that  things are finally coming to a head.  But the problem is that ma Pelosi and pa Reid just can’t figure out how to do the right thing other than play politics.  Case in point?  Immediately after it became obvious that their attempt to get this thing passed on the Hill is going to fall apart, here comes pa Reid charging to the microphone saying the ball is in our court.  Guys, I told you what the quid pro quo is.  If you don’t like it, well, screw you.  The price is simple, give me the Colubmia free trade deal, and now I want the South Korean deal too.  Then we get the UAW and their lackeys in Detroit their bailout money.  It’s against my principles to prop up a failed business unless their is systemic risk.  But I’m willing to deal, you guys just have to know that I will get the last laugh no matter what.

The truth of it is it won’t be just $25 Billion this month, mark my words,six months down the road, the same thing will happen all over again.  Then it’ll be Barack’s problem.  But again I digress too much, I’m not here to cast blame because we already know it’s Congress’s fault.  Instead, I’m going to offer a solution, you see, you bozos in Congress apparently aren’t the only ones worried about bankruptcy of the big three.

The solution therefore is simple, let one of the foreign automakers take over one or all of the big three.  Hell, it already happened once when Daimler bought out Chrysler, why not let it happen again?  What are the benefits involved here?  You can restructure the business into lean models, or if you don’t know how, there are a few companies that could help, no, I’m not talking Japanese or German or Korean, try these guys.  They’ll find ways to make Detroit profitable, trust me.  In the long run, if you’re taken over by these guys, they’ll whip things into shape, and in ten years or so, probably less, they’ll give the Japanese a run for their money, and it’ll bring the US auto industry back into shape.

But for this to happen, the three stooges would have to go.  I think I can persuade my friend Hu to help make a deal, but time is limited, and you need to act now, think about it, I’m offering the long term solution.  The stooges won’t last forever.  Alternatively, you could give me my free trade agreements, I’ll sign away $25 billion, but we all know that’s a short term solution.

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