The Personal Journal of POTUS

November 4, 2008

And the election goes to…..

Filed under: Elections,Satire — fakepotus @ 5:28 am
Tags: , , , ,

As I sit here watching the Steelers pound the Redskins into the dirt.  I go back to the Redskins predictor for the presidential election and think how I was one of the who broke the mold.  Now for those of you who don’t know about this, the basic premise is that the Redskins would decide the fate of the incumbent party.  So, if the Redskins won, the incumbent party stays in office that election year.  If the Redskins lost, the incumbent party gets kicked out.  Now, that had been an accurate predictor for about 17  presidential elections, until 2004 came along.  When the Packers beat up the Skins portending that ol’sourpouss would become president, and I’d be a one termer.  Of course, I’m George Bush, so I’m naturally the one who bucks the trend.  And I wiped the floor with botox for brains.

But sadly, not everyone can be a maverick like I am.  Sorry John, but at the end of the day, you’re not gonna be a president.  But hey, that’s ok, it’s not as if you didn’t try.  But you just didn’t have what it takes.  You didn’t have Karl with you.  Heck, Karl is practically running the Obama campaign for him.  Look at that team Obama has running his game, that David Plouffe guy is practically Karl’s disciple.  Heck, Karl was telling me that the guy is so good, he was knocking up his wife while still making sure Obama was on his way to becoming the nominee for the Democrats.  So, naturally, you weren’t gonna win, your helpers aren’t that good.  Rick Davis… well, what can I say, he’s just not the brightest bulb in the drawer.  But don’t worry, you’re going to be the defacto Republican leader.  Because let’s face it, none of the other Republicans in Congress can even hold a candle to you right now.

Anyway, take it in stride, call up Obama early in the evening and wish him luck.  Then take Cindy out for a spin or something, I mean you deserve it, fella.  As for me, I already got the robocall ready, and it’ll probably go out about midnight or so, may be earlier if Virginia comes in on time.  Well, by tomorrow, it’ll be all over, and you can go back to being the maverick Senator from Arizona, and Sarah can go back to being Caribou Barbie and lording over inconsequential State troopers.

As for me, I’m going to enjoy the White House cookery for a bit longer, pardon my last turkey and then fly on home back to Crawford.  I’ve made my mark, and years from now, when I’m long gone, history will say, wow, what a president that George Bush was… too bad he couldn’t run for a third term.  Remember now, I did vote for you… that’s what loyalty is all about.

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