The Personal Journal of POTUS

September 26, 2008

An Amusing Afternoon…

You know, I was compared to Curious George a few years ago.  Now, for a long while, I thought it was unfair, but today, I finally realized that the comparison is not entirely inappropriate, like the monkey, I love to amuse myself.

Take the meeting I arranged with McCain, Obama, and the Congressional leadership today on the bailout.  I had put it up originally to make sure everybody got their say, and we all worked together.  But the reality of it was that by putting so many charged personality in the same room, I was hoping there’d be an explosion and I’d be entertained.  I wasn’t disappointed.

Now, in the ordinary course of events in Washington, there is a political doublespeak that requires some basic mastery of the political langugage.  For example, when one senator says to another: “that’s a very interesting proposal, I’ll definitely be taking a closer look at it shortly.”  The translation is: “that’s the dumbest fucking idea I’ve ever heard, I’ll take a look at this when hell freezes over.”  Now, in Washington, if you’re here for a month or two, you can easily decode the language.

So, it was today, but let me tell you something, for the first time since I’ve been here, these guys actually dropped the double talk and were speaking frankly.  It actually started innocently enough, but well, I’ll provide a rough transcript, the names have been concealed to protect the innocent…. ha ha ha ha.

Pol 1: I think we have a general agreement in principle here, we should get the bill passed, and signed off.

Pol 2: Hold on a minute, we weren’t consulted on this.   We want to have some more say.

Pol 3: Well, the proposal was well circulated, isn’t it too late to be doing this?

Pol 2: No, it’s not, you guys never bothered talking to us, and this idea sucks.

Pol 1: You can’t say that, I want us to be civil.

Pol 3: Yeah, yeah, whatever, let’s just sign this piece of shit and get on with our lives.  You know I have some important things to do tomorrow night.

Pol 4: Like what?  Oh you mean you’re gonna jet over to New York and have your one on one with Ahmadinejad?  Try to get some practice in with diplomacy since you’ve never had any?

Pol 3: Screw you, stop bring up this old stuff, you old fart.

Pol 4: Yeah, I may be an old fart, but I’m still outmanuevering you all the time ain’t I, you little snot nosed punk.  Look at your running mate, the ever so stupid Joe Biden, you know Roosevelt did these things called fireside chats, on this thing called a radio, not on TV.  Look at my running mate, smart, energetic, kicking your ass all over the place.

Pol 3: Gawd, you still listen to the radio, get into the 21st century will ya?  I may be a snot nosed punk, but at least I’m not a so called war hero because I got my ass shot down by a flying telephone pole.

Pol 4: Boy, if they shot your ass out of the sky, you’d be screaming uncle five seconds after they laid their hands on you.  You’re too soft, all talk, no action.

Pol 3: And you’re an old fart who doesn’t have any original ideas, so stop stealing my change mantle.  What does an old geezer like you know about change anyway, except when it comes to daipers.

Pol 4: Ha, I knew this was gonna happen as soon as I saw you won the primary.  At least Clinton wouldn’t have yammered on and on about change and have no substance.

Pol 3: Listen grandpa, enough of this BS, and stop bringing up the old crone, she’s out of the picture, are you gonna debate me tomorrow or not?

Pol 4: On foreign policy?  You’re kidding me, boy, my adapted kid know more about foreign policy than you do.  Why don’t you go debate Palin instead, at least you might have a chance to beat her.

Pol 3: Screw you, old man, stop talking about the pig from up north, unless you plan on wearing lipstick too.

Pol 4: Well, sonny, I don’t like makeup like you do.  May be Baracko Spears won’t look so good without it.

And it went on from there for another hour

Now, I know none of what I said above made it to the media, because none of the aides would dare have put this out to the open.  But I swear, this is exactly what happened in the meeting.  Now I know none of this actually will help anybody, but the American people don’t need to worry, I already know something will come through in the next few days.  It’s just too bad they can’t see this type of thing, they’d laugh their asses off too.

Turst me, all will be well, in fact, I was in such a good mood after everyone had left that I had my favorites for dinner, Texas brisket, and sushi, with Key Lime pie for desert.  Life is good.

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1 Comment »

  1. Interesting.
    pic you use.

    Comment by walkndude — September 26, 2008 @ 5:36 am | Reply


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