The Personal Journal of POTUS

August 4, 2008

Underlings

The problem with being the president is that I can’t do everything. I mean I need to deal with the foreign issues as well as domestic. Now, the ability of any good leader, or CEO is to be able to delegate authority. I think for the most part I’ve done a fair job. But I really depend on my underlings. I have some good ones, Condi, Hayden, Gates, heck, even Powell and Rummy when they were working for me. But sadly, I’m just can’t pick winners all the time… case in point, these two guys. I call them the Abbot and Costello of my cabinet, except I don’t get any laughs out of these guys.

I picked Bernake because Greenspan thought he was a good guy, and as for Hank Paulson, you know, I had some recommendations from some street guys, and I figure, well, if he made partner at Goldman Sachs, he ain’t no dummy. Boy, was I wrong, and I literally had to eat those bad decisions with that stupid housing bill I signed last week. Even now, I can’t stomach the thought of this.

I told Ben back in January of 2007 that he should think about lowering rates a bit, but what do I get from the professor. Oh no, Mr. President, wouldn’t do that at all, inflation you know, Euro rising. Hello, baldy, what did I tell you, you have to worry about all these ARMs that are gonna come due. Otherwise, people can’t refinance and things will go bad. Did he listen? No… of course not. Now you see what I’m talking about, and it’s too late.

So, when he finally realizes that the economy is in trouble, he doesn’t lower rates fast enough to calm the market. Then he goes and bail out Bear Stearns. Ben, what did I tell you about these institutions, you bail one of them out, and they’re all gonna be lining up at the window looking for a handout. Of course, baldy (the other one) decides it’s a good idea, so he blabs about the necessity of bailing out Bear Stearns.

Fast forward three months down the road, look who we have to bail out now… Freddie Mac and Fannie Mae. Of course, this doesn’t go far enough, then Bernake extends the discount window for the major financial companies until January of next year. Hello, these guys don’t need the frigging money, they have a ton of it, the problem is they don’t want to let anyone borrow anything because they are afraid of losing their money. If you are so interested in making sure people can borrow money that badly, why don’t you go ahead and just have the Treasury make loans. I mean it’s the ordinary people that needs the cash, and not the banks. Can’t you see that? You lowered rates so much, but the mortgage rates keep rising. It’s like you guys are bailing out water with a little pail, and on the other end, some jerk offs are laughing in your face and dumping in water with an industrial size pump.

Of course, Hank is whining about how some of these financial institutions can’t be allowed to fail. So here comes the scheme to protect these financial institutions from being shorted… mind you, not every financial institution or even every stock like the way the rule is supposed to work, but just nineteen institutions. I wonder if Hank is trying to help out his buddies or something. I mean, you guys let Indy Mac fail, why that, and not Bear Stearns? Talk about favoritism. Then there is Congress, they want to bail out everyone in sight, and they come up with this lame ass housing bill, which for all practical purposes bail out all these investors in housing.

This whole thing sucks, I mean I know you’re supposed to be helping, but at this point the weak needs to be weeded out and not coddled. If a bank fails because it’s a poor business, you let it fail. That’s the way things are done, let a few of them fail, and the rest will be even stronger. Look at JP Morgan Chase, look at Bank of America, do you see them falling over? But this advice is wasted. So what happens? I get Paulson coming up to me and telling me all this bullshit about confidence and propping up the credit market, and all that. Dude, if you did your job, I wouldn’t be in this position.

I suppose I should be thankful they’re not doing a McClellan yet and writing books. Anyway, the bill is signed into law, just what we need, more deficits, and more frigging government. Thank God, I’ll be leaving in six months.

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