The Personal Journal of POTUS

August 4, 2008

Regarding Number 2

My official statement is that I deny any knowledge of whether we may or may not have gotten Ayman al-Zawahiri. I know that CBS news is claiming they have this intercepted letter, I know that the Taliban denies Zawahiri is injured. That said, if we did whack Ayman, we probably wouldn’t release the information until the timing is convenient. You know, right around October may be? Just to stick it to the Dems in Congress.

Or may be if we did release the announcement, it’s because we might have something even bigger planned in October. Or, may be we don’t. Only I know, and Pelosi, you and Reid can just wallow in not knowing, and besides, we have to confirm. It might not happen until October.

But honestly, I don’t have an October surprise planned. No one does, I mean, if I did, I wouldn’t be talking about it out loud. And I can’t really vouch for Osama not talking during the election. You know, he’s free to do what he wants until we put him down.

As for al-Zawahiri, I give him the same advice that I gave to Hugo last week. Dude, you need to get on the exercise bike. I know they call you the Doctor, but you more than anyone in that outfit should know about the dangers of obesity. I mean, it keeps you from running very fast when the smart bombs are falling. Look, tell you what, will do you a small favor, and get a elliptical delivered to ya, scout’s honor, I won’t have the CIA drop a bomb on you right after delivery.

Ok, you got me, I was never in the boy scouts.  But don’t cry, why don’t you just give Osama a call, the boys at NSA are waiting.

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