The Personal Journal of POTUS

July 27, 2008

Spawn of Slew

Of course, I’m talking about Cactus John McCain. Now, the term Slew might sound derogatory for those who don’t know it, but it was the nickname of McCain’s granddaddy in World War II. You see, Slew McCain was one of the pioneers of naval aviation and made a name for himself along with people like Nimitz, Spruance, Halsey, Turner, Mitscher, and so on… So, spawn of Slew is really a complement for the insiders. But I think it might be a bit too much of a compliment.

Anyway, I got a call from McCain this week, and he was really unhappy about how things are going on the campaign trail. He started with, Mr. President, things just aren’t going well, I told him to go ahead and call me George since we know each other so well.

So he goes: George, things are going horribly on the campaign. My advisers are a bunch of idiots, and the campaign is practically being run by monkeys and I had to get rid of the last two. I mean my message isn’t difficult, it’s stay the course in Iraq, energy independence, and they screw it up. I mean these guys are so incompetent that they can even get a decent backdrop for me on a speech. Lime green, looks like I’m drowning in a sea of puke, it’s no wonder that nobody could even get the simple message that I’m a leader people can believe in.

Then there is Obama, they’re treating him like the second coming or something. Like he is David Palmer, geez, that guy wasn’t even on 24 like I was. Worse still, the media is just bending over backwards to kiss his ass. Any coverage that isn’t toeing the Obama line gets slapped right down, look at the New Yorker, and all they did was put up a funny picture. I mean his first trip overseas, and he’s got the all the network anchors with him, it’s 24 hours a day Obama, I’m surprised there isn’t an Obama channel. Hell, I can’t even get the NY Times to publish an opinion piece, and the reason is that they didn’t like my opinion. What the fuck, these latte sipping punk ass sons of bitches, where were they when I was in the jungles of Vietnam. These are the same people who gives Ahmadinejad a wink and a nod on his visit here.

This is so screwed up, now people actually have the audacity to declare that they don’t want to be my VP. I mean who the heck does Bobby Jindal think he is. Hell, Bobby Jindal was still in diapers when I was suffering for this country in the Hanoi Hilton. Now he thinks he’s too good to be on the ticket. Probably too afraid to get on Obama’s bad side, or worse, may be he’s afraid of debating Hillary when she forces her way onto the ticket.

George, I know I’m doing the right things here for the country, and Obama, he’s a wild card. All he talks about is change, change, change, the changes of the change, and the need for more change. You’d think he was a Transformer or something the way he rhapsodizes about change. I can’t believe the better man is actually gonna lose.

He kept at it for a while, and well, poor John was in generally bad shape. I told him to not worry about things too much. After all, being a president isn’t everything, and you can still get a lot done if you’re in the senate. He mumbled something about how things are unfair, but would appreciate any support I can give him, and then hung up.

You know, McCain is a pretty decent fella, I know, I looked into his soul before. But the problem is he’s just too middle of the road, he’s not a man of action like me, or is he a man of words like Obama. And when he is treated unfairly, he vocalizes it, as if people really cared. Instead of whining about everything that’s going wrong and about all the attention Obama is getting, may be he ought to do something dramatic, like say: “hey, Obama, I can be your VP, how about it, we put our difference aside, and that would eliminate the whining from Clinton, and you could make like you were bipartisan.” It’s not a formula for winning, but it’ll change the conversation and stop the press for sure, but if he doesn’t think outside the box he’s like a ten million to one long shot at best. Anyway, I think I need another bike ride around Crawford soon, but dammit, have to do another fund raiser for the party this weekend, what a drag.


1 Comment »

  1. […] bookmarks tagged john mccain Spawn of Slew saved by 2 others     ROH777 bookmarked on 07/27/08 | […]

    Pingback by Pages tagged "john mccain" — July 27, 2008 @ 6:35 am | Reply

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