AIG

As I sit here preparing to dazzle the audience on the Tonight Show, I am reminded of the pain that the citizens of Americans are multitudes.  When companies like AIG excessively rewards failure at the expense of the tax payers, I am hurt.

Now, I am thankful that others have recognized their roles in giving companies like AIG such giant loop holes. But as I said, my administration take full responsibility for what happened, yes, we had a lot to do, but that’s no excuse.  We will fix this.  My good friend Charlie Rangel are doing the right thing by pushing to tax these excesses.   These people should not be reaping the rewards of their failure.

Having said this, as a nation, we truly need to carefully look at how people are compensated.  Consider for example the scientists who discover drugs, do they deserve their excess profits, let’s look at a place like Genentech for example, their recent takeover by Roche has made a lot of their key scientists rich.  Given their exploitation of the riches provided by nature, does it make sense for them to continue to pile up more money in the name of developing more expensive drugs?  In this case I would say these scientists who have become rich should for the social good to develop more drugs but without compensation more than your typical… say, social worker.  Or perhaps, we should consider taxing these same scientists at the 90% level that we will be going after the AIG crew with, after all, how are they any different than those greedy traders other than the fact that they’re successful, and let’s not forget, they’re only successful part of the time, they fail at developing compounds far more often than they succeed.

Now, I’ve digressed on the drug issue as an example.  But we need to have regulatory changes that aims to curb the excess on Wall Street so far, but in the long run, we need to push fairness across the board, not just the financial sectors.  Think about it, why does any CEO (like those on the big three) deserve any compensation at all when they fail their companies so miserably.

But fear not, this crisis has given us the opportunity to make the changes we need, and we will level the playing field for everyone involved.

Wish they were in charge

There are times when I think the world is just plain unfair.  We have an economic crisis, and what we need is hope and decisive action, but instead our European partners, those who had  been liberal and thoughtful has been replaced in the recent years by those who are conservative and not so much forward thinking.

The “united” opposition planed for the G20 to my suggestions that we need to further stimulate our economy is troubling.  Both Merkel and Sarkozy have decided to oppose me in terms of economic policy.  What we need now is not more naysaying and second guessing, we need coordinated actions to bring the world out of the current economic crisis.

That means we need to do what must be done by further boosting the role of government in order to ensure that the world economy is in good shape.  At times like this, I wish my old friends Chirac and Schroder were still in charge.  I’m sure they’d see eye to eye with me.  After all, they opposed Bush philosophically, so I expect agreement with my policies.  How can anyone other than cynics oppose hope.  It is my hope that the people of France and Germany see how their current leaders have led them on the wrong path, and will push for new leadership in the near future.

Part of me does wonder though, is it just that these are conservatives who are opposed to freethinkers that can lift the country from its doldrums, or is it more a case that France and Germany must forever oppose the will of the US.  I must ponder this, if it is truly the later, then this is troubling indeed.

Open Letter to China

Dear Chinese Leadership,

I, Barack Obama sincerely appreciate your thoughtful comments, and  generous acts of friendship in this difficult time.  I believe that our relationship is on the fast track since the visit by my esteemed secretary of State.

I would hope that my delightful sec State (aka 4th in line) conveyed my deepest gratitude for our lasting friendship, and you have my word if somehow there was a misinterpretation of her comments during the last visit, or perhaps a misunderstanding, I will speak with her regarding this issue.  I am certain that she would mend her ways so that she can maintain her jet setting ways to win peace and prosperity through diplomacy and SMART power.

Now, I appreciate your concern about our economy, let me just say that we fully plan to get our financial house in order on the finance side.  My genius Sec Treasury (aka babyface) is on the job. His actions have fully drawn the confidence and support of our allies in Europe, and I believe that a close examination of his handling the issues will provide you the same sense of assurance that our European friends have achieved.

As for the issues in the South China sea, my plan is to have an equally thoughtful response to your tactfully choreographed actions.  I look forward to a continued exchange of frank view of this matter, with a firm understanding of our relative positions (see page 66) in the world.  I fully anticipate that my message of hope will reach you and we will continue in a spirit of friendship that will endure far beyond our lifetime.

Sincerely

Barack H Obama

Nancy and I

There is this entertaining poll out on Newsweek about Nancy.  It appears that the media and all the haters want to stir up trouble between me and my esteemed colleague, who is a fine and upstanding woman and a wonderful speaker of the House.  And also incidentally sandwiches between second (Biden) and fourth (Clinton) in the line of succession.  Now, being in that important position, I am constantly talking with Nancy so that she is informed of what’s going on in case her services are ever required.

Now I know that she and I have some genuine points that we disagree on.  Iraq for example, I think we need to make Iraq a success, and under my administration, we will.  Nancy thinks it’s time to cut the losses and move on.  We respectfully disagree, that’s always true of colleagues and allies, but the key here is respect.  Nancy respects my position as the leader of the country, and I respect her as the leader of the House.  So, all of this conservative chatter is just their way of trying to drive a non-existent wedge between us.

The good people of the country know better.  I have a job to do, and I’m going to be saving this country one step at a time.  Take a look at the progress of the last two weeks, a bank rescure plan, a budget, a strategy on Iraq, and that’s just for starters.  Wait till you see what I pull out of the hat next.  I’ve been doing something that has been sorely  lacking in the country for a while, something we call leadership.  Trust me, friends, you are all in good hands with me.

The Face of the Opposition

A lot of people have said a lot of things about what I’ve done in the last two weeks.  But none has made more impression than the one I call the head of the Republican party, essentially, its heart and soul.  Rush Limbaugh is a formidable foe, his reach is broad.  Millions of listeners tune into him daily.  He was the rockstar at this weekend’s conservative convention, and everyone from New York Times to the CNN has all but crowned Rush as the face of the Republican party.

With millions and millions of conservatives rallying to his voice, he is the face of the Republican party.  To which I echo proudly in the voice of my predecessor, BRING IT ON.  Between David, the Spanker (Rahm) and myself, we had a sit down on political strategy the last couple of weeks, and this weekend just topped everything.  We love the idea that everyone is elevating Rush as the head of the Republicans, the new RNC chairman Michael Steele has got nothing on Rush.   In his own words, Rush hopes that “I fail.”

I don’t know how everyone would interpret that other than that they hope America fails.  I’m the leader of the country, if I fail, I will drag the country down, and the economy won’t recover.  So, by saying that he hopes I fail, Rush is effectively saying that he hope America fails.  How terrible.  Talk about trying to make political hay out of the misery of the country.

Sure, I have poor Gibbs out there looking harried and combative, but it’s part of the master plan of misdirection, confusion, and chaos that I’m sowing into the minds of the enemy.  I know what I want, I want to lead the country into success for the next eight years, and I will do it.  To do that, I’m going to choose my opposition, and confuse them while I pull of the save of the century.

So, Rush, my friend, I heart you, and look forward to the loyal opposition from you in the next three and a half years.